So I am finally posting after months of absence, mainly because I didn't have my computer. A lot has happened, the big thing being me breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years.
It had to be done though. I didn't love him anymore. Ah well, life has a funny way of messing with you. I sorta have a new guy now. I say sorta because he doesn't want to make anything official yet. He says he is still in love with someone else. Yet, he really likes me. His heart is just so conflicted. I don't want to force him to choose. I want him to come to me of his own free will.
We do act like we are dating though. Pretty much dating except in name. I've told him I love him a few times. It would be the best thing in the world if I heard him utter those words to me. But alas, I must wait till he is ready to. I do wish he would just give me a chance though. I'll wait for now, but I can't wait forever. I'll give him till the new year to make the next move.
I do feel pathetic sometimes chasing after him like this. I feel as if I've come on too strong. I've tried to not voice my feelings or push him in any way, but it does slip out at times. I just can't help it. Ah well, who knows what the future holds? Maybe John as a boyfriend, or maybe someone else entirely. The cards won't tell me, they keep giving me cryptic answers. The final decision rests with my dear John.
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